![\"Empathy](\"https:\/\/juneux.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/empathy_mind_map.png\")
What Empathy Is Not<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Empathy is not a synonym for emotional intelligence.<\/strong> Developed by psychologists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer in 1990, the emotional intelligence ability-based model includes 4 dimensions: perceive emotion (in yourself, others, and other things), use emotion to facilitate thought, understand emotion, and manage emotion. Empathy is one skill among many<\/em> within the dimension of perceiving emotion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Empathy is not sympathy.<\/strong> We don\u2019t show empathy by saying \u201cI\u2019m sorry that happened to you\u201d or sending flowers to someone recovering from surgery. Instead, that\u2019s sympathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Empathy is not compassion.<\/strong> We don\u2019t show empathy by forgiving an unpaid loan for someone going through a rough financial patch or providing a warm blanket to a homeless person without a coat. Instead, that\u2019s compassion. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sympathy and compassion are good and noble, but they are not sustainable. Asking employees to consistently display sympathy or compassion will lead to burnout, absenteeism, disengagement, or lower job satisfaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Psychologist Edward Titchener coined the word empathy in 1909 as a translation of the German term Einf\u00fchlung<\/em> (which in turn was coined by philosopher Robert Vischer in 1873.) Throw that bit of trivia out at your next scrum meeting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Empathy is made up of 3 dimensions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n In regular human-speak that means… <\/p>\n\n\n\n Because it\u2019s happening in our minds, two-thirds of empathy is completely invisible to the other person. So, the one-third we do<\/em> show is enormously important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We visibly demonstrate empathy in 3 ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t worry too much about mirroring because we all do it instinctively. We may unconsciously match another person\u2019s head tilt, gestures, or rate of speech. Mirroring is a good thing because it creates a bond between people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We can say (or type) all the perfect things and still screw up an \u201cempathy opportunity\u201d if our tone, pitch, body language, or facial expressions are not congruent with our words. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You know how you can tell if someone is truly smiling? You can see it in their eyes. Like a genuine smile, empathy cannot be faked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If empathy isn’t saying “I’m sorry,” then what is the right thing to say? In my research, I found this empathy scoring guide, and thought it nicely and clearly demonstrated how to improve our empathy skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Highest to lowest levels of empathy expressions*:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n 6 – Make explicit statement about sharing the customer\u2019s emotion or similar experience *Adapted from Bylund and Makoul’s (2002) “Empathic Communication Coding System.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n My deep dive into empathy was extremely eye-opening and had me thinking a lot about other ways I might help foster empathy in my work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, next time I create personas I might include a physical space or a supplemental worksheet for teams to write down experiences or emotions they share with the persona. Another idea might be co-creating example scripts or guidance about tone, body language, and word choice\u2014like an “empathy toolkit” for writers and frontline employees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n See also: Can Empathy Be Measured?<\/a>What Empathy Is<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"thinking](\"https:\/\/juneux.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/thinking_feeling_doing_empathy.png\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nWhat Does Empathy Look Like?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Mirroring<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Non-Verbal Communication<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Verbal communication<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
5 – Confirm customer\u2019s expressed emotion
4 – Acknowledge the main issue and follow up with a question or comment
3 – Acknowledge the main issue
2 – Acknowledge a secondary issue
1 – Backchannel response (e.g., I see, hm, ah)
0 – No acknowledgement<\/p>\n\n\n\nIn Conclusion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
See also: Can Empathy Be Taught?<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\nRelated Articles<\/h2>\n\n\n